dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
