We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize