Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
