Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
