we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
