Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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