I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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