Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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