just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just want nice things and good sex
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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