when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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