A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize