i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
