Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
