Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
