when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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