I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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