I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
