To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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