do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
