halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize