U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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