Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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