Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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