This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
