Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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