I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
