Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize