we have officially lost it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My penis needs a shock collar
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
