'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
