K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
