I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
