"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
