well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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