Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
