Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
