I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
