What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
