I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
