i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
