Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
