youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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