Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
