Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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