wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
