I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
