Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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