I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
