Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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