How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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