Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
