am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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