Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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