will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
