there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
